I am the first to admit that surgery is not the fix all to obesity. I still have to watch what I eat on a daily basis, and exercise regularly in order to continue to lose weight and not gain the weight back. Starting out at a size 20, now down to a size 12, has been quite a journey and has not been easy. Every day I have to make the choice on whether I want to live a better life or do I want to give up. It feels like I am in recovery from my own self, because I have always been an emotional eater since I was a little girl.
Being an emotional eater is dangerous because you eat when you are happy, you eat when you are depressed, you eat when you are bored, and even some times angry. Our emotions are all over the place through out the day because of the society we live in. The negative impact of this is we tend to eat at all times of the day without any self control. We tend to think we have control, but when you really take the time to study what you eat, you learn you may not have so much control in this area. I know personally I suffered from bad relationships, and this caused me to go into a downward spiral. My weight went up and down based on how my relationships were going. So if I was on the heavy side I was in a bad relationship, and if I started to lose weight things were going well in my relationships.
This was not healthy in anyway for myself, because my weight should not have been dictated on who I was with or involved in. It should have been controlled by myself and the love I have for my own body. Losing weight and staying fit to impress someone else is a no go when it comes to this journey, because your love life can fluctuate.
I had to make a decision to cut ties with bad unhealthy relationships so I can live and learn to love myself. At one point in my life I hated to even look in the mirror because I was ashamed of what was staring back at me. I had accomplished so many goals in my life, but I felt I was not good enough because of what of another person thought of my appearance. I had to reevaluate the reasons why I wanted to lose weight and keep that goal in mind.
Two years after surgery I feel great, and I am loving myself more and more each day. I am able to look in the mirror longer, and I am more cautious of the relationships I connect myself to. I had to take time out to be by myself, and not be involved with anyone, because I felt it would of been a hinderance. I had to take time to know who I am, things I love, things I don't like, and also who I want to become. I had to learn how to deal with handling stress from work, family, and financial obligations. Making time to mediate also had huge benefits when it came to dealing with anxiety and stress. I was able to listen to my own spirit and to God in my moments of peace. I found by clearing out my mind and thoughts through meditation, I was able to clear out the stress and tension in my body at the same time. Throughout this process I had learned I no longer needed to be everyones hero, but I had to find the hero in God.
My purpose of creating site is to be able to reach out to others around the globe who are struggling with obesity, and those who are wanting to just take a healthier direction in life. I do hope you enjoy this site and all it has to offer. Feel free to make friends, comments, and share your stories along the way.
Queen Tiffany Rose