That night I was laying in my room with the lights off trying to get some sleep. I was happy I had the room to myself finally because my old roommate had left that day to head to the Inn for the remainder of her stay. The Inn is just a place where patients can go and receive further counseling and participate in more group sessions to help get them back in the real world and with their families. Its kind of like a rehabilitation center but its not just for alcoholics or drug addicts. It’s for all patients that come here. They say its pretty laid back over there where you can use your cell phone and they don’t take so many items away from you as they do here.
My old roommate was an older woman who had to have been in her fifties. She was dark skin and wore this big blonde goofy wig where the curls would curl upward instead of downward. It looks like she had solar flares coming off of her scalp. I remember the first night I checked in here it had to of been about 2:00 o'clock in the morning. I still had on my scrubs that the first hospital had given me, and the yellow socks. After I checked in the nurse walked me back to my room where my now new roommate was already in the bed sleeping. I was scared as hell when I walked in because the room was pitch black and all you can see was the hallway light that shined into the room.
The lady said "sit your bags down and try to get some rest. You can get your toiletries from the closet near the nurse’s station and shower in the morning. I don’t want you to wake her up."
I didn’t want to wake her up either. She then walked out and pulled the door almost closed behind me, where a little light peeped through. My heart was beating so fast because I didn’t know what to expect from this lady. She could be straight up fooled and try to smother me in my sleep or try to stab me with something. She may even try to take my cookie, and I do not have time for that shit. I then slowly walked towards my bed and softly placed my brown paper bag that had my clothes in it on the floor at the bottom of my twin bed. I pulled back the covers and tried to maneuver my body to lie down without making a sound. To my demise, the mattress made a crunching noise when my ass sat on it, and I heard Miss Blondie make a loud snore and rolled over facing the wall next to her.
When she rolled over, all I could see was the crack of her ass showing through the hospital gown she was wearing. I gagged and nearly threw up at the sight of looking at her old wrinkly fat butt, but I didn’t want to wake her up and then shortly die after that. I finally was able to lie down easily onto the hard mattress, but I wasn’t able to get any sleep. Mostly because of her snoring, but also I was scared of the thought of just being here and not knowing what to expect.
I had been in one of these places before, but it was over ten years ago in a different state. I knew I wasn’t going to get any sleep, but I just laid there until one of the nurses came in and said it’s time to wash up. I wasn’t able to sleep at all the two nights I had Ms. Blondie, because she snored so loudly. I wanted to take a pillow and smother her with it and say shut the fuck up why don’t you. But if I did that, I wouldn’t be in the crazy house, I would be in prison, and ain’t nobody got time for that! It felt good to finally be able to have a room to myself now that she is gone. Hopefully, I will be able to keep this room to myself for the remainder of my stay.
I wanted Lil Red to stay with me, but they had already assigned her to another girl’s room that was hooked on Meth. Of course, Lil Red was scared as hell sleeping in there with her, but I’m sure she would be okay. Ms. Meth was funny and was very nice to everyone, everyone except Stephanie of course. Everyone hated her Stephanie crazy ass. I miss Lil Red already, and I am looking forward to seeing her tomorrow so we can talk some more. She seemed fun and cool to hang around.
As I am laying here getting lost in my thoughts, I see my door slowly open, and I see a slim white tall Caucasian girl walk into the room holding a brown paper bag. She had long stringy hair that came to the mid of her back and was wearing a black jumpsuit. The nurse told her to go ahead and get ready for bed, and she will check on her in the morning. I tried to act like I was sleep but I wanted to see if this girl was coo-coo, or was she going to be cool. She then tiptoed to her bed, slowly pulled back the covers and got in. As she was lying there, I heard her sniffling as if she had been sick. I then heard her sneeze a couple of times and I realized I had the air conditioner on blast because I like it cold in the room when I am sleeping. I softly said to her, “would you like for me to turn off the air, I don’t mind.” She then said, “Oh no that is okay. I’m fine. You don’t have to do that.” I said okay.
As I lay there, I could hear her sniffling some more and her trying to wipe her nose with the little bit of tissue she had. I told her, "I am going to cut the air off. It sounds like you have a cold, and it wouldn’t be good for it to get worse do this cold air." I reached over and cut the air off, and put it on the heat just a little bit for the room to warm up some. She then said, "thank you." "Not a problem" I replied. "By the way, I’m Queen, what’s your name?" "I’m Samantha, but people call me Blue." I then said, "Well it’s nice to meet you Blue." "It’s nice to meet you too."
I then rolled back onto my back and tried to close my eyes to get some sleep. I noticed Blue didn’t snore, and I was so happy about that. I think we are going to get along just fine. Right, when I was just about to drift off into sleep, all the sudden I hear the fire alarms go off. I mean it was loud as hell, and I could see the emergency lights flashing in the hallway. I sat up in my bed, and I saw Blue jump up trying to figure out what was going on as well. It was just her first night here, and I got the feeling her heart was about to jump out her chest hearing the alarms go off. She looked over frightfully asked, “what is going on, is it a fire?” I told her, "I am not sure, this is the first time this has happened since I been here." Right then I heard one of the male MHA’s come yelling down the hall, “GET UP, LET’S GO, LET’S GOOOO!” He then swung open our door and flashed a flashlight at us and told us to come on its a fire drill. “Line up at the exit door at the end of the hallway!” He quickly rushed out and went to the next room to give the other patients a heart attack as well.
Blue and I jumped out of bed and hurried to put on our slippers and shoes. I tried to hurry up and reaching into my paper bag causing it to rip looking my housecoat so I can wear it outside. I eventually was able to retrieve it, and I saw blue reach over and grabbed her black sweat jacket as well. We both hurried out of the room and started rushing down the hallway behind the other patients who were ahead of us. I didn’t know where we were going because there was no one there to direct us, so I was praying I was following the right patients who knew where to go and was not trying to escape. As I was walking down the hallway, I looked behind me, and I saw blue catching up to me. I can see why people called her blue. Her hair was entirely freaking blue! I smiled and laughed a little, and she smiled back.
I saw Lil Red ahead of me waiting at the exit door looking sleepy and cranky as hell. She still had the sleep lines on her face and was standing there holding her arms close to her chest as if she was freezing. I walked up to her and said, “hey Lil Red, are you enjoying the beautiful sounds of the sirens and the amazing light works show they have going on here this lovely evening?” If looks could kill, I would have been laying on the floor right there. She grudgingly responded, "This is crazy! How the hell are we having fire alarms going off at three in the damn morning? This is ridiculous!" I laughed and said, "Hopefully, this will be over quick. It might be a false alarm." She said in a frustrated tone, "I hope so. I’m ready to go back to sleep. It’s bad enough sleeping on that hard ass thing they call a bed, but then when I am finally able to go to sleep on it, they want to scare the bejesus out of me with this nonsense." I just shook my head and smiled at her. She was so cute when she was mad; I guess because Lil Red is tiny and when she's angry her big cute pink lips poke out.
I heard the MHA yelling with his deep, loud voice, “Let’s Go, Let’s Go” as he checked the rooms behind him and made sure they were empty. I stood there thinking to myself, how the hell can we go anywhere when the emergency door is locked, and we are standing here looking like a bunch of ducks? He finally squeezed his way through the crowd and proceeded to unlock and open the exit door. We were told to move away from the building and closer to where the basketball court was, right in front of the gate. Lil Red and I walked closer to the fence, and I noticed Blue was standing off to the side by herself. I signaled at Blue and said, “Blue come over here.” Blue then walked over with her arms folded as if she was scared as hell.
"Lil Red I want you to meet Blue. She is my new roommate. Blue this is Lil Red." Blue then said it is nice to meet you and smiled. Lil Red then said it is nice to meet you too and smiled as best as she could under the circumstances. While we were standing there watching the other patients come out of the building to line up, I couldn’t help but notice Blues wrist while she was standing there. I tried not to make it obvious I was staring, but it frightened me a little. It had been wrapped up with this white roller bandage cloth and tape. I even saw some of the dried up blood that had seeped through the bandages. I looked at Lil Red face, and I could see she was thinking the same thing I was thinking. This child had done slit her damn wrist. I think Blue had noticed we were looking at her wrist, and said, “I had a bad day” and shook her head. I laughed and said, "me too." Lil Red smiled and said "me three! Shitttttt!" We all stood there laughing at ourselves. None of us thought we would be standing there in that moment in all our pain surrounded by more even chaos. All we could do was laugh at our predicament.
While we were standing there, I saw the male MHA come out with a big red box that had the patients cigarettes in it. He walked over towards the group and said I am going to go ahead and let y'all smoke. I don’t know how long we are going to be out here. He opened the box, and of course, it wasn’t anything but five or six of left on the side who didn’t leave to get a cigarette, the rest of the bunch raced towards the box as if it was a million dollars in it. One of the patients said, “Alright Y'all, let's see who can get cancer first.” I then saw the MHA hand one of the patients a lighter to pass around so that everyone can light up. I thought to myself; I don’t believe its safe to be using a lighter if its a fire drill going on. It could be a gas leak or something.
As I was sitting there deliberating if I should bring this up to the MHA’s attention, I heard this loud commotion going on the other side of the fence near the tennis courts. When I looked, I saw a group of about fifty patients, and from the looks of it, they were not the group of patients I wanted to be around. All I heard was cursing, yelling and screaming. It was majority men from what I could tell. I then saw one of the MHA’s on that end yell out “Put your backs on the fence and do not move. Spread out and be quiet. Don’t say a word.” I heard one of the patients say "this is some Bullshit. I can’t wait to get the fuck out of this place." I then heard another patient yell out across the yard at our group and said "what the fuck are y'all looking at? Don’t make me come over there and put my foot in one of y’all Asses." I next saw one of the MHA’s grabbed the guy and pulled him towards the fence and told him to shut up and stay on the damn fencing. You stay over here; you don’t have anything to do with them over there.
I suddenly heard one of the patients in our group yell out across the yard towards them, "yeah… y'all stay y’all crazy asses over there. This is A hall where we know how to act civilized; Y'all stay in D Hall. The dumbass hall." I heard one of the patients who had to be at least 6’6 and was brown skin yell out "fuck you, you dumbass fat white bitch. I’ll come over there and knock the fat off your trailer park looking ass Bitch." Our MHA came over to the white lady who was in our group and told her not to say anything to that group over there or else she will be sent over there with them. I couldn’t believe she was trying to pitch a fight with D Hall. I heard about D hall, but I never encountered D Hall. Just C hall, which was pretty far off in the head already. But D hall was an entirely different level of fool up. They had to be locked in rooms all day and all night long because they could turn violent. At any given notice they could snap and lose it. Some of them had to be put in straight jackets, and I even heard some of them had to be given a shot that knocked them completely out if they became to outraged. They called the shot, “The Hammer” because when they give it to you, you fell limp like somebody just hit you over the head with a hammer. You were out for the count after that. I wanted no parts of the hammer, the screwdriver, the wrench, or any other type of tool they had to give to get your ass to shut up and cooperate. I was good on that note.
New York jumped in. "Shut up and don't say anything else to them over there. I want no parts of D Hall. Them niggas are crazy as fuck. Their not suicidal, their straight up homicidal son.” She replied “as long as he doesn’t say nothing else to me, I won't say shit else to him” as she sat there on the curb puffing her Newport. I looked over at Lil Red, and we both said it at the same time, “Girl we got to get the hell up out of here” and laughed together. All the sudden I heard two of the patients arguing in the D hall area again. It was the 6’6 brown skin guy and had to be about a 5’7 Mexican. From what I could see the 6’6 black guy wanted to fight the 5’7 Mexican, but the Mexican wasn’t doing anything to him. He was standing cool against the fence without moving a muscle. I could see he was moving his lips, but I couldn’t hear what he was saying. All I heard was 6’6 saying “You want to fight me, you want to fight me huh? Let’s go, Let’s rumble baby. I’m Mike Tyson, Holyfield, and Mayweather all wrapped up in one, and I will knock your Pacquiao looking ass out right here on this freshly cut green motherfucking grass señior.” I then saw 6’6 step up to the Mexican face.
At that moment I saw this big tremendous black guy who had to of been about the same height as 6’6, but he was broader and had muscles out this world. I mean it looks like he lifted tractor-trailers as weights. He was swoll than a motherfucker. I heard someone in our group say, “Oh Shit, There go Big Bubba” Right when 6’6 came at Mexican, Big Bubba, came from behind 6’6 and wrapped his humongous arms around his body, lifted him up and in the air, and then slammed him down on the concrete which was next to the freshly clean cut grass he said he was going to knock the Pacquiao look alike on. All I could hear was the sound of 6’6 body smashed into the concrete with this loud thump and the other patients saying Ooooooooooo, in amazement but agony at the same time seeing this man’s body be thrown down like a rag doll. I heard Lil Red whisper in my ear, “I wonder if he knows Pacquiao is Filipino and not Mexican.” I said, “probably not.” We both laughed and turned to look at poor Blue. She was standing there in complete shock as to what she was seeing. It looked like she had never seen a grizzly bear attack a fawn before. I looked at Blue and said with a warm smile, “Welcome to Orientation.”